SABINE S., project manager for a major cosmetics company and incurable grammar nerd.
IF and WOULD should never be together in the same clause, except in extremely polite and formal language e.g. “If you would like to take a seat the doctor will see you in a moment“.
Use IF + Past Tense, and WOULD + infinitive of verb:
“If I lived near the sea, I would swim everyday.“
“If I won the lottery, I would take a year off work.“
Never say:
“If I would live near the sea, I would swim everyday.“
“If I would win the lottery, I would take a year off work.“
The same applies to: “IF and WILL make teacher ill!”